NYSC DIARY : Compulsory Alawee and Why I'm Not Scared of Soldiers

A

abujagirl

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My Service year ends in a bit - can't wait to regain my freedom. As part of events marking the end of my service year, NYSC diary will feature the experiences of other corps members who are interested in sharing a bit of their experience.

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Onyeacholem Esther, is our first guest on NYSC Diary. She has an Accounting degree from Covenant University and is currently serving in Lagos tells her story :

Hello Diary!

I know that’s so secondary school, but what can the daughter of man do? Last week was so hectic, I was counting down to CDS (that literally happens once in a royal blue moon with highlights of fuchsia pink). Anyway, it was general CD and as usual, I could recite my LGI’s speech in the exact order of points : Clearance, Compulsory allowee (my LG is the only one I’ve heard of where they chase corp members to collect their allowee.). My

LG is full of people who schooled across the shores abi over the seas and private university graduates, so no surprises. Back to the general CD, some people came to tell us about our online video CV, and because of how boring they sounded, my LGI decided to inspect our outfit (that’s the only logical reason I can give for a man to go round inspecting over 600 people). I wasn’t even bothered about the inspection cause I was fully dressed in my khaki trousers that are scared to touch the ground (or my ankle as a matter of fact), my off white blouse that’s large enough to cover a 10-month old pregnancy and a cap that can barely fit my ‘Suku’ bun (I exaggerated just a little bit). He wasn’t far gone into the crowd, before he caught his first culprit ( a girl of cause). This girl had on really nice shirt tucked into her fitted trousers, she decided to compliment her outfit with golden boots. I have never seen golden boots like that. I couldn’t even control my amusement. I knew she might be dating Ronaldo or Messi, but that doesn’t give her the right to wear their golden boots to CDS. As if that wasn’t enough, her partner in crime was wearing brown KITO-like sandals and white socks. My LGI caught others but these ones made my CD fun and bearable till I left cause people didn’t stop talking about them.

Friday came faster than my bank’s debit alert (like they alert me while I’m still on the queue to withdraw). I was running late this particular Friday just like the past five Fridays. When we got to Marina bridge, the driver in a bid to make haste, unknowingly overtook a car full of soldiers (no bloody civilian in his right sense will try overtaking a soldier even if he’s crawling). The soldiers drove behind us and hit the car, the driver got angry and decided to wait for them (at this time, we didn’t know they were soldiers).

LASTMA officials appeared from the sea (that’s the only place they could have been hiding) and stopped both cars. As the soldiers emerged, the driver (Mr Complete) who had been ranting for the past minute began to sing a new song. LASTMA officials disappeared, Mr Complete started shedding tears even before they got to the car. By the time, the first soldier came, Mr complete was down on his liver, he was prostrating so hard, I felt the ground was pretty intimate with his intestines. I was close to unperturbed (wetin concern me, I be government property). Back to wailing Mr Complete, I was going to show my NYSC ID to the soldiers but Mr Complete looked so funny, I didn’t bother. Besides, I wanted to record it so I could tease him. 4 out of 5 soldiers came out, Mr Complete apologized to the extent that he started cleaning the wheels of the car. After about 5 minutes, the soldiers released him and drove off.

Instantly, his tears dried up and Mr Complete was back to ranting “those soldiers are so irresponsible, why would they hit me, they are lucky they were many. I would have
challenged them’. Like my Warri sisters will say ‘Laugh no gree me laugh”. Though Mr Complete’s shirt was now muddy and my ‘kajal’ had smeared because of my ‘laughing tears’, I couldn’t have had any better consolation for my hectic Monday till Wednesday.
 
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